I was sitting
on the filthy miserable curb
of the universe

feeding the wrinkles on my forehead

Meu caro, mantenha o sorriso. Acima de tudo, essa regra. Nada mais é tão importante quanto isso. A autocomiseração é uma constante fonte de constragimento para aqueles que nos cercam. Por favor, poupe-os disso, poupe-os disso.

Você por acaso teve um dia de merda? (Por favor, antes de tudo evite palavras como "merda".) E daí? Mantenha o bom humor, meu caro. O sol brilha - talvez não para você, ou talvez mais do que você desejasse (você, que como todos sabemos, é chegado numa sombrinha) - talvez o sol brilhe em uma ilha paradisíaca nos trópicos, e não nessa Porto Alegre de final de agosto. O sol brilha, meu caro - e não interessa que a medida certa de sol não seja exatamente a medida sobre a sua pobre cabeça de brasileiro desabonado.

Meu caro, esconda essa sua baixa auto-estima num buraco bem longe dos olhos dos outros. Não há nada mais venenoso para as mentes saudáveis e afortunadas do que um espírito comprimido pela vergonha de si próprio. Ai, Deus nos livre da sua vergonha de si-próprio.

Here in my chair

Here in my chair
In a rare moment of intelectual ease and subtle sensual pleasure
I look into the nature of good and evil
While smoke rings move up and vanish in the air.

I think to myself
What a beauty
It is to stir into nothing
But just, beautifully
Move up and vanish in the air
And still be totally aware that
You’re nothing but sitting.

That’s just a moment, though
And soon I am again
Haunted by faces and hearts
And eyes – god, eyes! how many of ‘em!
(Though most of them were hers...
continually blown by the hundreds by some strange god into my face
like smoke rings themselves!)

É por um motivo ignóbil

É por um motivo ignóbil que estou escrevendo. Nem ao certo sei o que "ignóbil" quer dizer.

Venho perdendo coisas de maneira vergonhosa ultimamente. Perco palavras, por exemplo. Sinto que é possível nunca mais achá-las.

São palavras bobas. Às vezes me lembro de palavras sofisticadíssimas, mas me acho completamente à deriva quando tenho que dizer o que está entre meus tênis e meus pés. Como se chamam mesmo?

Esses tempos me dei conta de que não me lembrava de coisas sobre o meu próprio passado. Coisas pequenas, pequenos vãos na minha memória. Sei que eles estão ali, sei que deveria haver alguma coisa os preenchendo, mas isso é tudo.

Por exemplo: meu aniversário de oito anos: onde diabos ele está?

She came

She came to me,
She desired me as I desired her.
And now
Goddammit
She's my disease.

I was ready
Ready to jump out
As soon as sleep came.
But I woke up
In the same bed
And I thought
Well, why not have just a bit more.

And I finally felt
I was ready to sneak away
As my thirst was quenched
And our bodies worn out.
How could I figure out then
She was going to twist my soul
As she pleased
On an early Sunday morning.

A man is damned for life
When he gets his heart squeezed up
Until he's left without a single drop
Of cold blood in his veins.

When he realizes
It's already too late,
He's got the phone in his hand
At 2:30 a.m.

Blow up

Blow this shit up,

I joyfully thought to myself
As I looked at the pile of papers
On my desk
Just waiting for
My lazy eyes and hands
To take care of them.

You ever been in love, man

You ever been in love, man?
A weird sensation, that is
To listen to slow songs
And get your eyes wet
And there's a lump in your throat
And you think to yourself
What the hell
Am I so emotional about these days.
You look out the bus window
And as trees and buildings and people
Rush by
All you see is love and pain.

Were you afraid, man

Were you afraid, man?
Did you feel somehow threatened
When she told you to push it harder?
Or did you feel great, then
Did you feel like a real man?
Did you touch her deep, man?
Did you touch her as deep as you can
And was it deep enough, what d'you think?
Did she moan and curl and scream and sing
And d'you think it was true
Or is she capable of such a thing
As faking?
What do you think, man,
I wanna know
What you really think
I wanna know if you believe in
What you been tellin' your friends.